thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

(via lesstalkmorerockk)

becomebraver:

I HAVE FOUND THE CUTEST THING ON THE INTERNET

becomebraver:

I HAVE FOUND THE CUTEST THING ON THE INTERNET

(via therodentqueen)

flairey:

my officemates and i were arguing about the difference between a mouse and a rat so i googled it
and there we go
the difference is a rat plays jazz

flairey:

my officemates and i were arguing about the difference between a mouse and a rat so i googled it

and there we go

the difference is a rat plays jazz

(via lejlaxneko)

karasratworld:

Tissue box= instant rat trap.

Surprisingly true!

karasratworld:

Tissue box= instant rat trap.

Surprisingly true!

halfbakedpoet:

And here we see a majestic wild mop without a handle frolicking on a beach…

halfbakedpoet:

And here we see a majestic wild mop without a handle frolicking on a beach…

(via withwhatcomestomind)

girly-fanatic:

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

(via heart-shaped-b-o-x)

fiztheancient:

nootlife:

Oscar having a shower.

i love snail

(via handywithsuperglue)

silversora:

"Dave.."
"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."
"DAVE."

silversora:

"Dave.."

"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."

"DAVE."

(via helbleh)

it seems you have stumbled upon my fair asylum of a lair, in which plague rats carry tea-trays, tom cats wear bow ties, and insomina is the new black

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